The sooner you all admit this, the sooner we can all get
back to reality.
If you need some elaboration, then I would be more than
happy to oblige.
For years the central argument by Christian conservatives
against gays getting married has been this notion that marriage is sacred, and
that to allow people of the same sex to get married would tarnish or destroy
the sacredness of such a thing. Even
now, as of May 2012, this still holds as the main reason for these folks to
continue to rally against basic human rights.
And yet, here I am today finally saying to these people, “You are so
full of shit.”
Here’s the reality – people fear what they cannot seem to
understand; this has been a known fact for centuries. To this day we still fear the unknown or
unexplainable; cancer is a good example.
How is it that someone can smoke their entire life and be so lucky as to
avoid the disease, yet someone that watches their health could be stricken with
it and taken so quickly from the world?
This thought alone can lead to people examining themselves,
over-analyzing minor ailments and in some cases create psychological problems
that lead to sickness. It’s fear that
keeps us up at night and distorts rational thought.
So imagine the amount of confusion that homosexuality has
caused and continues to cause straight people.
“How could a man love a man? Why
would a man love a man?” It’s a foreign
concept for most; it was for me until I was around the age of 12. At that point I learned that there is a group
of people in this world that prefer to be with members of the same sex. It was also around this time that I learned
to fear them. Not because they posed any
sort of threat to my life or well-being…just because they liked what they
liked. Members of my family (members who
meant and still mean a great deal to me) would tell me things like, “It’s
unnatural. They’re disgusting.” It would be followed by words like “fags” or “queers,”
words I’d never heard before. Trusting
in my family, I soon took the stance that whatever the reason, “gay” equaled “bad.” It didn’t stop there, though; this stance
developed into a fear of its own. “What if I turned out to be gay? How do you
even become gay? What if I’m gay and don’t
even know it?” These lingering
questions weren’t something that just passed, either; they gripped me and
suffocated my ability to be who I am for fear of being something that I wasn’t. If people thought I was gay…why, that would
be the absolute worst thing in the world.
Social anxiety is one way to put it – in reality, it was more like my
own personal, paranoia-induced hell.
Fear. It’s powerful
shit. And it’s what drives the people
who still carry on about the protection of the institution of marriage. Even more sickening to me is the dragging of
Christ’s name into it.
Anyone that knows who I am today knows that I consider
myself agnostic. I was raised Roman
Catholic; I was baptized, confirmed and given an education in the Catholic
faith for close to 9 years. I always
accepted communion, but never took the priest up on the wine. I was an alter boy, too (if you have a joke, then
bite your tongue damnit). To me, the
faith was big; its teachings and traditions were followed with reverence and
respect. Like most kids though, it took
me a while to actually focus on that one thing that every Catholic and
Christian knows: the “golden rule.” It
eventually became a mantra for me; “treat others the way you would like to be
treated.” It made sense. At least it did, until things started getting…complicated. First it was the “gay” thing; those folks
clearly were not “natural.” Then it was
people who sought divorce. Then it was
women who sought abortions. Then it was
the doctors who performed abortions. And
as these people added up, more began to join the growing group of undesirables
in the eyes of the church. It soon
became apparent to me that it didn’t matter who you were or how good of a
person you were – if you didn’t play by the church’s rules, you were exempt
from the “golden rule.”
Which brings us back to the present. Due to the ever growing issue of being “politically
correct,” we now have Christians and Catholics saying that they agree that gays
should be allowed the same rights as everyone else. They should be treated fairly. It’s just the whole marriage thing that they
take issue with. And here’s where I call
out loud enough so they all can hear, “Bullshit.” So you all say marriage is a sacred
thing? Here’s the deal – I do too. It is a sacred seal between two people that found
each other in a disturbing, crowded and unpredictable place. It’s a commitment that people make to stay
faithful and true to one another, no matter how much may change or stay the
same.
But just how many people still share this sentiment?
We, as a species, treat marriage as something
disposable. When it’s not something
encapsulated in 25 episodes a season, it’s something done to raise our social
status in the public eye by having it televised and sold to us in the form of
commemorative plates. In other, much
more blunt words, it’s a fucking joke.
And since gay people haven’t been able to get married to one another for
as long as straight people, would anyone care to guess who’s to blame for it
becoming a joke?
What has become much more rare is marriage for the sake of
love and loyalty. My wife and I will be
celebrating our 2nd wedding anniversary this year; she and I have
been together for 9 years this year. I
treat our marriage as the official sign, for all the world to see, that I love
her dearly with all my heart and soul.
But here’s the thing – there’s an entire group of people out there who
are ready (and have been ready) to do the same thing with their lovers. They know what it means to be wed; they know
that marriage is a sacred thing. I would
think that if anyone would know a thing or two about just how meaningful
marriage is, it would be the gay and lesbian community. So the next time that someone says that they
support equal rights for gays but thinks the “sanctity of marriage” needs to be
protected, tell them to own up and say what they really mean. Tell them to say, “I still don’t understand
homosexuals.” The excuse is getting old. And the sooner that we have people be honest,
perhaps the sooner minds can be changed.
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